Demon's Hellcat
by rahrah483
Summary: Sixteen year old ELizabeth Phoenix's parents are getting divorced and she moves from California to Boston with her cheating father. When she sees Billy Darley ,Will her fiery passion lead to a red-hot romance or send them burning to Hell?
1. Chapter 1

It contains some sex scenes, swearing and self-mutilaition...Be warned

Disclaimer: The original characters and plot are the property of me so please don't steal them I do not own Billy or Joe or the rest of the Darley Gang (Unfortunately!) But id o own the characters i create. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended so i apoligise if it has occurred.

"_Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces that rule the individual's instinct for self preservation"_-Albert Einstein.

"Daddy…What are you saying?" my twin sister, Nicole's, voice came out in a pitiful whine, obviously unwilling to believe what her ears had just been told.

"I said, your Mom and I are getting a divorce…and I'll be moving out in a week. Now, it's entirely up to you kids who you want to live with, but before you make up our minds, just imagine me sitting all alone, in an empty apartment with no one to talk to but a cat named Marvin…oh, god, someone please pick to stay with me…you all know how much I hate cats!" although my father's voice held an air of humour, I could tell he really needed someone to side with him.

'Don't worry about it Dad…I'm sure your trashy mistress'll warm your bed…that is, if you can afford one on your shitty salary." My older brother Todd snapped sarcastically, smirking as the barb bit into his father as harshly as he intended. Even though I thought the comment was a little too cruel, I understood completely why he was so mad. Mom and Dad had been tense for months but none of actually thought they'd separate. Plus, Dad seemed a little too calm about it, as though he thought being easy-going and just making us feel like we were in control of the massive nose-dive our parents had forced upon our lives…I mean my little sisters were just twelve and Nicole and I only turned sixteen about 3 months ago. Todd was 19 and had moved out of home about a year ago, but I could tell the divorce was already having a tremendous effect on him, I mean, to find out the man you looked up to and admired couldn't even stay faithful to your mom was a pretty big blow…but, then again this whole thing was so sudden, we all felt a little frightened.

My younger sister Danni moaned miserably, and Mom crossed the room to envelop her tiny frame into a hug. Her twin Kylee clung to Mom's arm as she too, held back tears. Me, I was beyond tears and into that eerily weird place of acceptance, the one that people who have been in a terrible accident get, while everyone else panics. Todd took one look at his father looking forlorn on the couch and snorted in fury before grabbing his keys and running outside to his car. As we listened to it roar away, no one spoke. The silence was only shattered by Kylee and Danni's snivelling and Mom's gentle soothing words. I stared at the ground, unable to look my adulterating father in the eye. After a while, I excused myself and went to my room.

Once in it's comforting darkness, I picked up the photo frame that sat on my bedside table. As light from the street lamp outside poured in, from behind the shiny glass, my All-American family stared happily back at me. Mom and Dad looked completely in love and us kids gazed up at them with adoring looks on our faces. We were the perfect family…could it have only been taken the previous summer? Given the tension that had been floating around the house for months, it seemed so much longer ago. I glanced down into the joyful faces I saw staring up at me, and as I heard my sisters doors slam close, heard their sobs echo brokenly and heard my parents begin to scream blame at one another for the billionth time that week, Anger welled up inside me.

With a tiny scream, I brought the picture crashing down on my desk. The weak glass shattered like pieces of my soul, tinkling merrily, disguising the dangerous shards of imperfection and despair. I quickly picked up one long splinter and pulling back my sleeve, dragged the jagged tip across my tender flesh. Crimson blood welled against my white skin and I gasped as the pain tore up my wrist. Yet, release was immediate and I slashed a few littler grooves, before hastily ramming the shirt down over the oozing cuts, as my mom rushed in.

She looked wild and dishevelled, with tracks of mascara running down her cheeks. Running over to where I was crouched on the floor, she exclaimed sadly as she saw the shattered fame.

"Oh, honey, what happened?" Her sweet voice was full of concern and straight away, a feeling of resentment surged up from the pit of my stomach, filling my entire body. Why couldn't she act angry that her husband was cheating on her…or was that just it? Was it because she so fragile that he had to find some one else to sleep with? I hated her for being too weak and undesirable, for bringing my utopian lifestyle to an end…but, like the submissive girl I was, I swallowed my fury and replied not altogether nicely.

"Dammit, Mom, I tripped and hit it, is all. Chill out for god's sake." I flung, acidly, feeling the warm blood drip down my wrist. I just wanted her out of my room and out of my life.

She stepped back as though I had physically struck her, and with a cry, scurried from my room. I felt no joy as I saw her departing back, and a feeling of desperation filled me. I tried to shake it off by staring at my bloody wrists, at the marks I'd made to release my emotions but it wasn't until later that night, when I told Dad that I wanted to move in with him, that I truly felt a gush of triumph. It isn't that I truly hated my mother nor my brother or sisters, but I couldn't cope being around such a haunted place, because surely, Nicole was going to be melodramatic and act like she was dying, Todd would be moody and sullen and the twins would follow me around like puppy dogs, constantly seeking support. I couldn't cope with all their shit as well as my own, so I needed to get away…fucking far away! And as far as the cuts were concerned, they weren't particularly a regular thing, more like a fucked-up spur of the moment vent of frustration…definitely not something I was going to indulge.

As Dad and I drove into Boston a week later, the car was abnormally silent for one that contained a teenager. He tried half-heartedly to engage me in conversation, but after I nodded and uttered a non-committal grunt for the fiftieth time in ten minutes, he sighed and gave up. I was relieved, and as the words to _"All over you"_ by the spill canvas ran through my mind, I fingered absentmindedly the skin of my left wrist, the one I'd cut that night. I now wore a thick bracelet over the scabs, the elastic jewellery beaded so extravagantly, no flesh whatsoever could be seen.

I saw Dad glance over a few times and frown slightly, so to avoid any questions, I gaily remarked "so Dad, what're you going to be doing once we get into town? As far as work is concerned I mean?"

"Oh, well Kate's dad owns a construction company, so I'll be working as a builder there." I stared shocked as I realised that he actually sounded content with being a manual labourer…my father, a lawyer, was looking forward to getting his hands dirty in a job that he didn't even win through talent but rather connections.

"Hmmm, sounds…great." I murmured before retreating even further back into my shell, fuming about how much of a pussy-whipped cock my dad was turning into. While we drove through the graffiti covered streets, Dad tried pointing out a few places he thought might interest me, but this time I didn't even feign curiosity, I just plain ignored him.

"Those are triple-deckers," he says as we made our way down Perverell Street, pointing to the rows of attached three-story houses. "Different families lived on each deck." On the corner is a tiny market. He pulls his car into the drive of a putty-coloured triple-decker with cement steps. In a quiet voice: "We're going to live right here, on the first floor, with Kate. You'll be going to Cratnk High school down the road. It's a nice enough place…I guess" he paused for a long second and I immediately became suspicious.

"You guess, or you know?" I demanded.

"Know;" He repeated more firmly. Doubt gnawed at my stomach, but before I could question him any further, Kate came flying out and immediately engulfed Dad in a tight hug. He laughed and gave her a kiss…I looked away quickly, but before I did, I swear I saw tongue…ewww! I began to gag, literally, and Kate pouted as Dad drew back to ask me what was wrong. I smirked and gave him an incredulous stare. He reddened then shuffled his feet like a naughty boy caught in the wrong. Kate went inside with dad and I was left outside, to deal with carrying in the bags. I struggled with them before slamming the back door shut…only to find Dad and Kate mecking in the kitchen…Yay…NOT! Uh, it is so disgusting I'm gonna puke, and I've only been here about two minutes.

"Where'm I supposed to sleep? I'm not gonna sleep on the Frickin' couch." I snarled.

Not breaking her lip-lock with my father, Kate pointed to a door down the hall. Dragging my bags loudly across the linoleum floor, I slammed the door open and threw them down. I pulled down the sheets and tried to drift off. Around ten O'clock, Dad and Kate went into their room, and I thought I'd finally be able to sleep. But as it was, God, there was no way that'd happen since I'm pretty sure you already know they were doing something other than sleeping. Loud moans and grunts came from down the hallway. I buried my face into the sheets and covered my head with a pillow. Since it did nothing to block out her screams, I chucked the pillow across the room and stood up. Then, as the noise intensified, I walked over to where it hit the ground, and once I lay back down, pulled the cushion back over my head and actually heard silence this time…Fuck, how I looked forward to tomorrow with such zest…


	2. Chapter 2

So, three days later, I was sitting in my father's girlfriend's apartment, staring out at the grey streets around me. It was just me at home, and if I was braver, I'd probably have gone out exploring. But, letting my scared side get the better of me, I skulked off towards 'my' room, at the end of the building. It was smaller and dingier then my one back home…I mean my _old_ home. The walls had been painted a cheery buttercup yellow but it's bright colour did nothing to mask the dreary derelict nature of the whole place. Cheap furnishings covered every surface and disdain was the only emotion I could muster for it's dilapidated state…Gosh, wouldn't my mother be proud?

Kate was nice enough, but she had a kind of ditzy, whorish quality about her that I wasn't immediately fussed upon. She looked a little like me, with blonde hair, blue eyes and a thin figure, plus she was young-almost too young- as though she was just a little girl playing grown-ups, finalized with an adult man and new daughter to complete her charade. I wondered if she really was his 'mistress' in the true sense of the word because she seemed too naïve and innocent to have had sex with anyone… but Judging from what I'd heard that first night, I was definitely wrong. That being said however, I probably wasn't the best expert since I was still a virgin myself and had only ever had one boyfriend, a sweet sporty guy named…well, Guy. I wasn't ready to commit that far into our supposed bond and he was caring enough not to push me. But, I wasn't sure how long our relationship would last now that I was in the 'bad' side of town…

You see, my family had always lived in sunny California…Sherman Oaks to be exact. We lived in a tree-lined street, at number 26 Lakeview crescent. I had always attended the 'right' school, had the 'right' friends and was essentially the 'right' type of teenager. Nicole was slightly more fashion conscious and flirtatious than me, with heaps of boyfriends to prove it, but as far as I knew, she'd still be donning a white dress on her wedding day, if you get my drift. For a while, before all the shit had started to happen at home, I loved being a stereotypical Californian girl, with all it's perks, but when Dad and Mom had started to fight everyday, the wonderful world of popularity just didn't numb the ache that I was feeling, and so I began to alter my personality slightly, becoming more moody and introverted…I knew Dad was going to Boston a lot on business trips, but that was all I thought of it…until he told us about the divorce and I decided to move with him to the other side of the country, knowing nothing about anything in my new town…smart huh?

So I sat staring out the small window in my room. Tomorrow I'd be going to Cratnk High, and I was already experiencing terrible fright. I mean I was just another California girl, golden-haired, sapphire eyed complete with childlike behaviour. I was terrified about the Bostonians who seemed rough and tough, and if they'd accept a princess like me…As it turns out I didn't have to wait too long to find out…

"Elizabeth?" Kate screeched from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready."

_As if I couldn't tell that from the smell wafting from the room, _I thought bitterly. Kate was a horrible chef, I had discovered…so she preferred to order in, then pretend she made it…and my Dad laps it up like she's the best thing since sliced bread- which, I might add, she can't 'make' either- as if he can't tell it's store-bought. I wondered what delicious dish she'd ordered, oh, sorry, I meant, _made,_ tonight.

I scurried into the kitchen, dragging my feet noisily. She was already seated with Dad at the wobbling table in the centre of the room. Glancing at the food, I saw that she had made chicken, suspiciously like that of KFC…hmmm, I wonder…

"Hey, honey." Dad sang, as he placed a heaping serving on his plate. I smirked and sat down across from Kate.

"Hi; Daddy." I chirped sarcastically. Kate glowered at me. "How was your day?" I asked falsely as I scooped as little food on my plate as possible.

"Great." He responded. "I met Liam and the other workers and Kate's dad is awesome." I nodded, tuning out.

"So, Elizabeth, how was your day?" Kate asked insincerely. I shrugged; knowing it'd irritate her.

"Nice meal Kate." I diverted. She smiled.

"Did you make it?" I asked.

She nodded. "Really?" I asked. "I could've sworn I saw some Kentucky Fried containers in the bin…huh, I must've been mistaken." I sat back sneering.

"Kate?" Dad asked, questioningly. I rolled my eyes, unable to believe that he was that stupid.

She looked up, tears glimmering faintly in her eyes. "Robert, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to think I was a good mother-figure for Elizabeth…" She whispered eyes downcast.

"Oh, Katie, I didn't know you felt that way. I don't think you need to impress me with your culinary skills…You impress me anyway and I think you're a great role modal for Liz." He soothed. I winced and slammed my body upright, stalking away.

"Elizabeth?" A voice called, but I kept moving, away from their sickening display of affection. I slammed the bedroom door shut and threw myself down on the bed. Sleep came quickly, like a silent killer, and I dozed off.

The next day I woke up early; so early it was dark outside, and chose the perfect outfit; casual yet street-smart…dark indigo skinny jeans and a light red close-fitting t-shirt. Curling my hair took about 20 minutes seeing as its naturally straight, I put on some blush, eyeliner, and mascara. I sprayed some of my vanilla smelling perfume before walking out into the kitchen to make myself breakfast. Kate was already there, since it was now around eight in the morning, with Dad slumped in a chair, drinking his fifth cup of coffee while reading the paper. He glanced up as I entered, and smiled.

"Hi, Hon. You look good." He said. I nodded thanks, and then went over to the cupboard, pointedly ignoring Kate.

"Hi, Elizabeth" She sweetly greeted me, voice dripping with phoney sincerity.

"Hi, Kate…sleep well? Not too busy fucking my dad then?" I mimicked, seeing her face pale. I sniggered, then nudged her out of the way, reaching for the cereal.

"Elizabeth!" Dad rumbled, voice sounding shocked, "Apologise this instant!" He thundered.

"Sorry, Dad…" I started, "But I gotta get to school or I'll be late…Can't have that on my fist day, Can we?" I asked brusquely, skipping out the door.

Once outside, my eyes were assaulted by a sea of grey; grey buildings, grey street and grey sky. I wandered to the end of the road, searching for a Taxi. When one didn't appear, I took off in the direction I thought the school was in. As I jogged, I cursed my father for not showing me where it was…then cursed myself for not remembering to ask.

I arrived at Cratnk High, late on my first day…What a buzz. The school consisted of a large brick building, artfully decorated with graffiti, a basketball court with a wire fence on the outer edges, a few dead trees, and an elevated barrier enclosing the whole thing in like some kind of warped prison. Litter carpeted the yard and broken windows peered sightlessly out from the dull walls.

It was a far cry from the manicured, attractive places I'd attended in the past, but a superior attitude wasn't the way to go…in fact all it'd get me was bashed or killed, so I decided against it. Walking into the lobby, I saw these massive big security-gates, like they use in airports. Staring hard, I saw that the student Body was being screened for drugs or firearms. I shuddered with fear, and felt myself being jostled forward by the crowd. After making it through the gateway unscathed, I wandered forward, lost in a sea of people; all with purpose…unlike me who had no idea where to go.

I saw a tall lady heading the opposite direction, and so I flagged her down.

"Miss? Excuse me, Miss?" I panted, chasing her, hitting a few people with my bag.

"Yes?" She turned to face me.

"I'm new here and I was wondering if you could tell me where I'm meant to go" I explained.

"You're new here?" She asked. I nodded; sure I'd made it clear enough the first time.

She looked away to grab a cigarette that was dangling precariously from the mouth of a young African-American boy, who cursed loudly.

"Well, welcome to Cratnk High, or as it is popularly referred to, Crack High…I'm Ms. Lewis and I teach Music." I nodded, itching to be told directions to where I was meant to go. She noticed my anxiousness, and pointed down the hall in the direction I'd just come from; "Head down there, it's on the right." With that she walked away, chastising the boy.

"Shit!" I muttered, as I stalked unsurely down the hallway. People hurried past me, bumping my arms, until my books tumbled to the floor. They just stepped onto the pages as they rushed towards their classes. I finally scooped up all my sheets, before stumbling upon the Secretaries office.

She barely batted an eye at my haphazard appearance, just smacked her gum loudly and handled me a scruffy piece of paper. Glancing down at it, all I saw was a jumbled of letters and numbers. I stood, awaiting more instructions. She looked down at her work for about 5 minutes, before looking back up at me dubiously.

"Anything else?" I spat sarcastically. She shook her head no, and I stormed out of the room, irritation burning into me. I finally found the right room, and walked in.

Instantly fifty pairs of eyes blazed into mine, and I blushed crimson. I hated people staring at me, it made me nervous.

"Yea?" A voice rang out. I turned to see the teacher gazing at me from behind his desk.

"Hi!" I said, internally cringing at my chirpy voice. A few kids sniggered and I felt so babyish. "I'm Elizabeth Phoenix…I'm new." I finished lamely.

"Well, sit down." He motioned impatiently.

I threw myself down in a chair, melting with mortification. I pulled out a random book, only to find it torn and dirty, with a large footprint imprinted in the centre of the cover. It was actually a cool design, all angles and sharpness, but it still came from the bottom of a shoe and I felt absolutely humiliated.

"Class, Today we will be studying the novel, 'Swallow the Air'". A large groan resonated throughout the room, and I winced secretly. I'd already read it and thought it was fantastic. "Now what did you all think?" He asked.

"Shit" said one person.

"Confusing…"

"Boring…"

"Excellent." I spoke up, sounding too scholastic compared to my new classmates. They all turned to stare at me. Even the teacher looked intrigued.

"Go on." He prompted.

"Well, we read it on the west Coast about 5 months ago." I explained earnestly. "And I thought it was great. The way May was looking for her dad and searching for a place she belonged was really deep."

"I agree," said one scruffy-haired boy. I looked confused until he smirks and says, "The chick gets raped…It was alright." He sniggered.

"Yeah. Cause that the only way ya'll get a girl to sleep with ya." Someone else hollered, and everyone laughed. Personally, I don't find rape funny; it's disgusting, hurtful and malicious and I couldn't understand why they were all in hysterics over such a statement.

"All right settle down!" the man shouted, waving his hands to retain some order. "Thank you very much for such an insightful interpretation, Miss. Phoenix." He said. I almost responded with a 'you're welcome' before realising that he was being sarcastic.

"I'm sorry sir, but what did I do wrong?" I asked timidly.

"Oh, you just ruined that story for about half the kids in here" He stated. I was confused, I mean the guy was the one who gave something crucial away, not me? But I held my tongue and grovelled.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realise. It's just that in California we read it months ago." I apologised.

"So you said" he dismissed, as everyone turned to eyeball me. I realised that perhaps rubbing it in that we'd already done it in California wasn't the smartest thing to do, so I kept my mouth shut.

So eventually, I made it through another three periods and recess, without annoying anyone else. Then it was lunch and I hurried out into the cafeteria.

"Here." The lunch lady drawled, unceremoniously dumping unidentifiable goo onto my tray. Wrinkling my nose in disgust, I paid for my meal and turned to scope out a possible lunch spot. I saw an empty one in the corner and rushed there, not wanting to sit with any strangers. I threw my stuff down and sat, picking half-heartedly at my food…if you could call it that.

"Hey!" A voice rang out.

I glanced up quickly to see a girl striding towards me. I recognised her from my first class and hope filled me. She was coming to sit with me…she was going to be my friend. I opened my mouth to greet her.

"You sitting in my spot" she announced flatly.

"Oh, sorry…I didn't know" I stammered.

"Well, now ya do." She stood, arms crossed expectantly. I bowed my head and scooped up my things, tripping slightly as my foot caught the table leg.

"Sorry." I stuttered as I limped away. I heard her laugh as I left and humiliation welled up inside me…I can't believe I thought she'd be my friend, what a loser I must be. I made it through the rest of the day not talking to anyone and raced home in the afternoon.

Once I arrived there (I didn't get lost this time!) and darted inside, I saw Kate and Dad making out on the lounge.

"Fuck, Can't you two get a fucking room?" I screamed, not caring as they stared at me, disbelief plain on their faces.

"Honey? Did something happen today?" Dad asked, concerned.

I bit back a semi-hysterical peal of laughter, before answering.

"Something? Did _something_ happen? Try everything Dad." I screeched. "I'm a fucking social retard, my teachers think I'm a kiss-ass and I have no fucking friends whatsoever." I realised I was crying, but I didn't seem to be able to stop.

"Oh, sweetie." Dad stood to hug me, but I dragged myself back, away from him.

"Fuck you Dad." I spat." It's your fucking fault I'm even here in the fucking first place…You and that slut!" I pointed at Kate, whose mouth dropped open.

"Elizabeth!" Dad roared. I flipped him the bird and took off running towards my room. Slamming the door shut, I felt the handle being rattled and heard my father cursing as he tried to open it.

"Elizabeth Ann Phoenix, Open the door NOW!" he screamed.

"Fuck you." I raged. I raced over to the vanity table, and pulled out my razor. I dragged it down my skin again and felt a feeling of relief ooze from me, in the form of crimson blood. "Get lost, Dad. I don't want to talk to you…"

Eventually, he got tired of pounding on the door and left me to my own devices. I sat on my bed curled up, gently stroking the razor back and forth across my skin; sometimes drawing blood; other times not. Throwing myself upright, I lurched over to my Cd player and put on "Bad Habit" by Dresden Dolls and let the words wash into my soul.

"_biting keeps your words at bay_

_tending to the sores that stay_

_happiness is just a gash away_

_when i open a familiar scar_

_pain goes shooting like a star_

_comfort hasn't failed to follow so far..."_

As I felt my anger drain from within; my phone rang, and I jumped, causing the blade to go deeper the intended. I hissed, hand clamped over the bleeding wound, and rushed to pick it up.

"Hello?" I rasped.

"Hi! It's Nikki." I rolled my eyes and moaned inwardly. Fuck, I didn't want to deal with her now.

"Hey." I muttered, letting no emotion into my voice. Maybe she'd get the message and bail.

No such luck. "So how's school?" She chirped.

"Alright" I lied.

"So, anyway, I had a good day too…except that Liana totally wore the same earrings as me…Can you imagine? So I said to her 'take them off 'because I bought mine on the 4t of July gala, and she said she bought hers in April. As if?" I tuned her out and focused on the blood dripping down my wrists.

"And I was like. Whatever…how good was I, Sis?" Nicole questioned. I jumped, realising she wanted an answer.

"Uh, yeah, great I guess." I stammered, not sure what I was agreeing to. She finally noticed I wasn't entirely overjoyed about what she was telling me, and asked me what was wrong.

"It's just this place. I have to put up with dad acting like he's a teenager so something;' Kate makes me mad; at school, no one talks to me and I think everything is terrible" I confessed.

"Uh-Huh." She muttered. What the fuck? She wasn't even listening…what a bitch…oh; oops I did the same thing to her? Well…it seemed less annoying when I did it!

"Hey, look let me talk to Dad, yeah?" She asked. I mean…Come on, hadn't she been paying attention to anything I'd been saying? Grumbling to myself, I pulled open my door and stuck my head out.

"Dad!" I shrieked.

"Oh, so you've decided to talk to me civilised?" He spat, as he walked towards me.

I scowled, before holding out the phone. "It's Nic. She wants to talk to you." Once he took it, I banged the door shut. I turned the volume up to an ear-piercing degree on the stereo; enjoying it until Kate came knocking on the door.

"Turn it down!" she screeched. I rolled my eyes but still complied.

"Jeez, Kate, chill" I sang, as I opened the door. She glowered at me before her stare travelled downwards towards my wrist. I saw her gaze widen almost imperceptivity, before giving a fleeting look; up at me. I stared defiantly back at her; head tilted up slightly. She sniffed snootily and I slammed the door shut in her face.

My shoulders were trembling and I peeked down at my arm to see what she had seen. "Fuck!" I spat, noticing that the blood from the cuts on my wrist had seeped through onto my white long-sleeved shirt…She must've seen it, yet said nothing.

"Shit." I whispered. I was more scared now then I had been before. I walked shakily over to the bathroom adjoining my room. I wet a washcloth and dapped at the oozing cuts, red and angry on my skin. I hissed as it stung, but ground my teeth and continued. _What if she told Dad? What if he rang Mom and I had to go to counselling?_ There were numerous slashes on the skin; and they were bleeding profusely since I'd reopened some of the old, scabby sores not yet healed. I wasn't even too sure why I was doing it since nothing major had occurred, but it just seemed like the right way for me to release all my hatred and anger.

"Elizabeth?" Dad called knocking on my door. I swallowed hard, feeling the panic rise up in my throat. I quickly hid the bloodied washcloth and threw off my sweatshirt and pulled a clean one on. Heart pounding in my chest, I pulled open the door and hung my head; waiting for the inevitable.

"Honey." He started, voice filled with concern. I suddenly thought that grovelling to him might be a way to escape psychiatric examination; maybe turn on the waterworks…who knew?

"Daddy, I'm sorry" I whimpered; tears gleaming in my eyes. Immediately his face softened and he drew me into a hug. I melted against him, and sobbed heartbrokenly.

"Oh, baby girl. You have no idea how much it means to me to have you say that." He sighed. I sniffled loudly; sensing that I had won. "I know that coming here was a tough move on you, but" I smirked sadly, but my mouth dropped open in shock at his next words. "I think that you've been treating Kate a little too harshly and I want you to apologise."

"What?" I screeched. He shook his head and repeated his request.

"Whatever." I sulked. His face immediately lit up into a smile, and he kissed the top of my head. As he left; I screamed silently. I hated her, oh God; how I hated her…she wrecked everything!

I wandered out after him; only to find the pair whispering in the living room. They shut up the minute I entered and unease filled my body. Had she told him?

"Kate has had an idea Elizabeth." He stated, wrapping an arm proudly around her waist. _Wow,_ I thought _she actually does have a brain…then why does she keep messing with me?_

"Hmmm?" I grunted.

"She's invited Nicole and Guy to spend the weekend. How about that? It'll cheer you up." He grinned, obviously expecting me to explode with eagerness.

"Great." I nodded and he grinned. Then I spun around and wandered into the dark recesses of my room. Curling up on my bed; I pressed play on the stereo and fell asleep, with the words speaking directly to my soul…

"_& pens and penknives take the blame_

_crane my neck & scratch my name_

_but the ugly marks_

_are worth the momentary gain..._

_when i jab a sharpened object in_

_choirs of angels seem to sing_

_hymns of hate in memorandum…"_


	3. Chapter 3

So, I anxiously awaited for Friday to come. I spent all my time at school skulking around; avoiding people and all my time at home locked in my room thinking about my life. I came to the conclusion that I am a slight-maniac depressant…Or, at least that's how I feel. So I tried to better myself; and began to accept my life here, since I was the one who chose to come here. No One made me and I need to deal with that. So when the day eventually came; and I ran home after school to see a familiar Blonde headed girl sitting in my favourite spot on the windowsill.

"Nicole!" I screeched, running over to give her a huge hug. As my face was smothered in her hair, I felt the tears glaze my eyes and I coughed roughly to disguise them.

"Hey, Sissie." She cried. I smiled thinly and laughed as Guy picked me up from behind to spin me around. When I was with them; I felt normal and happy like the way I was before all this shit happened.

"Guy! Put me down." I hollered. He obliged, kissing me on the cheek.

"Hey, Baby. I missed you" He whispered in my ear. I grinned and kissed him on the lips.

"So; you two want a guided tour, huh?" I asked gesturing around me. Nicole's nose wrinkled and I laughed; enjoying the cheerful sound.

"No thanks, Liz. How about you show us around the neighbourhood?" Guy asked; a mischievous glint in his eye.

"What?" I asked.

"I saw a B-Ball court down the block…Can we go play?" He begged; like a little boy.

"Fine." I huffed," since you obviously drove all the way here to go do something you could just have easily done at home?"

He laughed, and we ran out the door, towards the court. He found an abandoned ball, and ran around shooting hoops while Nicole and I gossiped on the sidelines. It felt really natural and I appreciated the effort of my father.

"HEY!" A voice screamed out.

I spun my head around to see a lanky guy rushing towards us, face twisted in anger. He had pale skin, brown eyes and burgundy Henna hair. He wore a loose, button-up T-shirt with ripped black jeans; a silver chain dangling from the front pocket around to the back, and I thought he looked cute…rough but cute. Yet the expression on his face turned me from interested to alarmed in a second.

"What the FUCK do you think you're going?" He spat, rage burning in his eyes.

"Uh, playing ball man, Wanna join?" Guy offered.

"Do I wanna fuckin' play ball with ya?" He seemed to mull the decision over, before smirking. "Try fuck no, bitch. Now get the fuck Offa my fucking court."

"Your court?" Guy repeated, sceptical.

"Yeah, MY court." The guy stepped forward menacingly and raised a fist to hit him.

"Joe!" A feminine voice called, and 'Joe's' head snapped around.

"Fuck. Carmen, didn't I tell ya to stay with the boys?" He snarled, watching as the girl sashayed towards us. I realised with a jolt that she was the girl whose table I'd stolen and groaned inwardly…was there anything that I hadn't stolen from these people?

"Baby; Leave em alone." She offered. "They didn't know. And now they do, so they'll leave. Right, scholastic?" Carmen asked looking directly at me.

I nodded.

"See," she assured triumphantly. Joe reluctantly released the front of Guy's T-shirt and stepped back; arms crossed angrily. From behind him, I saw a whole bunch of dangerous looking guys emerge from a derelict house and head in our direction.

"Uh, guys c'mon lets go." I muttered. Nicole nodded from where she stood; being scrutinised by Carmen. Guy was still glaring at Joe even as his friends showed up.

"Guy!" I screeched, tugging on his arm. The other guys sniggered and I felt my face turn red.

"Joe, who's the chick?" One asked; a dark guy with a beanie on. Joe shrugged and smirked.

"Shit, Billy's commin'" One gasped. "Ya'll got ya shit?" He asked. They nodded and relief spread through the group like wildfire.

I managed to pull Guy away, striding in the opposite direction as Catcalls followed. I stared up as the sound of a motor being gunned could be heard. It was a black 1967 Ford Mustang Fastback with custom tribal design painted on the hood; doors and bonnet. I stopped and followed the vehicle with my eyes; mesmerised. When it squealed to a stop; and the driver got out; something tightened inside me and I ached to be his.

An extremely tall, bald, tattooed man folded himself out from within.. A smile crept onto my lips as I saw his camel coloured goatee and striking green eyes. Tattoos snaked their way up his neck and I wanted to trail my finger down from the beginning to the end of its curled length…who knows where it actually ended; but i knew where I wanted it to!

"Elizabeth? Come on." Nicole begged; dragging on my wrist. The jolt of pain that followed- since she'd unwittingly touched the cuts- brought me back to reality, and I spun to follow them, eyes wanting to gaze back at that sexy man.

We wandered back to the house and stood in the kitchen watching Kate as she dished up Chinese from the take-out container onto a normal plate. Then Dad came home and we sat to talk about the day.

"Daddy Guess what?" Nicole chirped.

"What?" he asked.

"We were kicked out of the basketball courts today by this really rude scruffy guy and then this total gang banger showed up…he was scary" she shuddered theatrically.

I squeaked, and stared at the ground.

"Elizabeth?" Guy asked, hand on mine. "Are you Ok?"

I murmured an answer and grimly continued shovelling food into my mouth to remove my thoughts of that Face…those mesmerising eyes…that smirk…those tattoos and that Car! Fuck, I'm so bad! Here's my boyfriend sitting concerned while I think dirty thoughts about a guy I'd never ever met.

"I feel a little sick. Think I'll go lay down. Thanks." I whispered, desire darkening my mind.

I slammed myself into my room and breathed deeply. Fuck, think straight girl, I commanded. I composed myself and sat stiffly staring at myself in the mirror…What was happening to me? Why was I mutilating my body and having thoughts about guys other then my own?

A soft knock on the door awakened me from my mulling behaviour.

"Yeah?" I croaked.

"It's Nicole." She called. "let me in." I did so, and we sat talking about life…then I fell asleep…Damn was I tired.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, except that I got into a screaming fight with both Kate…and Guy of all people. I wasn't listening to him; and he got pissed off at me…like it was my fault all he spoke of was fucking sports!

On Monday, I said goodbye to everyone and raced to school. I didn't want to be late again because three times equals a detention…which was something I didn't want to deal with. My classmates were beginning to accept my scholarly manner; and I even talked to a few. At lunch; I sat by myself still but that couldn't be helped.

I was sitting in my regular spot; near the bins in the eastern corner of the Cafeteria, when I heard Carmen call out to me. As she moved closer I sighed and went to stand up.

"Lemme guess." I spat. "I'm sitting in your other spot." I glared at her as she broke into peals of giggles.

"What?" I snarled. She looked at me; eyes bright.

"Chill, girl, ya got a complex or something'" she laughed. "I was just commin to tell you that ya can come sit with me if you like." She gestured to her table, and I nodded unsurely.

"What's ya name?" She asked.

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth Phoenix." I said.

"Na, Don't care for it. Think I'll call you…Liah, ya know like Leah, 'cept different." She concluded.

We walked over to her spot, with Carmen swinging her hips to a tune only she could hear. I perched uncertainly on the edge of the seat, staring at her.

"What?" She gasped, noticing my gaze. "Do I have something on my face?" She quickly rooted around in her bag trying to find a mirror. I chuckled making her frown at me.

"Why'd you want me to sit with you?" I asked.

"I saw you yesterday…and I saw the way you stared at Billy." I assumed he was the sexy guy and blushed; she winked knowingly and I smiled.

"I didn't think it was that obvious…and besides I have a boyfriend, you saw him." I sighed.

"The one Joe was gonna beat on?" She asked. I nodded. "Huh, girl do yourself a favour…dump him and date Billy." I laughed and shook my head no.

"He'd never go for me like this." I gestured; down at my light pink skirt and crisp white singlet.

"Well, then we'll take you shopping." Carmen proclaimed.

"Why're you doing this?" I enquired.

"Cause I don't have many friends and you seem nice…Plus I can't stand the whores Billy 'dates' and if I'm gonna keep seeing Joe; I wanna have a nice sister-in-law." She joked.

Linking arms, we wandered out of the school and into the street; the final bell ringing shrilly in our ears.

"So where are we going?" I asked. She winked and Lead me down to a small shop called Urban Angel. It was filled with dark clothes, chains and accessories…I was hooked!

We chose a few pair of skinny leg jeans, Pants with zippers sewn up to back of the legs which I'd never seen done before, arm warmers, a pair of studded belts, and a trio of wristbands with pyramid studs, stars and spikes. We also bought some black and red camisoles, singlet tops and long-sleeve shirts. I stocked up on make-up and we were ready.

As we walked back towards our neighbourhood; arms filled with bags; we laughed and chatted like normal teens. I told her about my life in California…and the divorce.

"Yeah. My parents got divorced when I was like, twelve…sucks dunnit?" she muttered. I agreed and we walked in silence for a few minutes.

"So was that girl your sister?" I nodded. "Huh, you guys twins?"

"Yeah. I'm older by like two minutes…she can be a real bitch sometimes though." I explained.

"Identical?" Carmen pondered. I bobbed my head up and down meaning 'yes'. "Yeah, I could tell."

"Ya'll got creepy-ass eyes girl." She shuddered and I laughed. Nicole and I have eyes the colour of blue ice and they stand out against the tanned tone of our skin. Carmen however is gorgeous, in a very wild, untamed and un-conventional fashion: high drama eyebrows and tanned skin, and dark, shadow-smudged eyes. Her looks also hint at an ethnicity, which I am told is Spanish and Russian….in any case, she was stunning …and didn't she know it?

"Oh, shit." Carmen gasped. "I gotta go to Billy's for a sec. Come with?"

I nodded, a little apprehensive. We stalked down the street towards his dilapidated house, and she told me to wait outside.

I stood awkwardly on the front stoop; listening to snatches of the conversation…well; most of it wasn't worth repeating but I did learn that a guy named Heco was gonna get his ass kicked by Billy for stealing shit from another guy named Bones…The things you learn eavesdropping.

I stood there for ages and I nearly thought about going back home but I didn't want Carmen to think I'd bailed on her, so I waited.

I was still waiting when I heard the roar of Billy's car. Stomach knotting painfully; I watched the car pull up and saw him emerge. Damn, he was even better close up. I stared as he swaggered up the walk; and held my breath as he stood before me.

He studied me arrogantly; running those emerald eyes down my body, a cigarette dangling form his Cupid's bow lips. He snorted before opening his mouth to say something.

"Who the fuck is you?" He snarled.

"Liah." I replied; it sounded cooler then Elizabeth.

"Ya lost?" He spat; an eyebrow arching snidely. I shook my head and stared into those green eyes.

"I'm waiting for Carmen." I stammered; the intensity of his gaze surprising me. He grunted and pushed roughly past me into the house. A second later he re-emerged dragging a protesting Carmen.

"Now, take your girl and Fuck off!" He growled. She nodded meekly and we left.

"What's his problem?" I asked concerned I'd done something to piss him off.

"I dunno" she murmured, before looking at me sideways. "Look; it's Alright, Liah. He isn't mad at you." Relief flooded through me.

We'd arrived at my house and I invited her in. Luckily no one was home; and I dragged her over to my room. Giggling; I tried on each outfit and modelled for her, The Ramus' 'Lucifer's Angel' blaring loudly.

I heard the front door slam closed and I locked mine; not wanting anything to disturb my normal teenage activity. Soon whoever was home was banging on the door screaming at me to open it. Carmen and I stared wide-eyed at each other before bursting into hysterical laughter.

"Jeez, Chill." I called, pulling the door open. Guy stood on the other side; jaw dropping in shock when he was my 'Bostonian' wardrobe.

"Liz?" he asked. I giggled and nodded. Carmen wandered up next to me and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"This is Carmen." I tossed carelessly. He nodded at her then turned back to me; eyes filled with concern.

"Your dad wanted me to tell you that we're going out tonight, since it's our last night here." He explained; eyes wary.

I nodded and Gestured to Carmen. "Can she come?" I asked. Once Guy shrugged; I took that as a yes and about 20 minutes later; we were seated in a restaurant in the city.

"So Carmen. How do you know Liz?" Kate asked.

"Liah and I go way back." Carmen sniggered, knowing how I felt about her.

"Liah?" Nicole asked. Carmen turned to her with a sceptical expression.

"Yeah; Liah. Got a problem?" She challenged. Nicole wilted and backed down. I smirked.

"I gotta pee. Be right back." Carmen got up and went to the ladies room. I knew that everyone's eyes were on me and so glared around at them.

"What?" I spat.

"Hon' don't you think she's a little…uh, tempestuous?" Dad murmured.

"No." I bluntly answered.

"Well, I think you should stay away from her." Nicole injected. "She looks like the girl we saw yesterday; the one with the guy who kicked us off the court."

"Well, that's cause she is." I muttered sullenly. Nicole and Guy both shot me wounded looks.

"What?" I spat, "Just because her boy's kinda rude; ya don't have to bring her down too."

"Whatever." Guy inserted; eyes glowing angrily.

"Lizzie." Nicole soothed. "I don't want you to be friends with her…she probably knows that Gang Guy and he's bad news."

I didn't say anything about having met Billy and I just glared at her. Carmen came back from the bathroom; and although she noticed the bad aura, said nothing.

Later; before I went to bed, Guy came and apologised.

"Sorry, Baby." He whispered. "I…I just don't want your innocence to be corrupted by her or those people."

I hid my head in his shoulder and said nothing. Billy Darley was bad news; he was a Heart-breaker, womaniser and all-around bad guy…But I was mesmerised and enthralled and wanted him for myself…No matter the cost.


	4. Chapter 4

For the next few weeks, after Nicole and Guy went back to California, I kept my guard up around Carmen. She took no notice and I was glad. We hung out at school and she regularly came around to my place. One night; she invited me to come with her to Four Roses, the bar where Joe, Billy and the rest of their friends hung out.

"Uh, I guess so, Yeah, I'll come." I stammered. "Are you sure I'll get in?"

Carmen laughed; "Don't worry, you're with me and I'm with Joe so you'll get in, no worries…Now what are ya gonna wear?" I giggled and we raced off to my room to get ready.

About 20 minutes later; I was seated in Carmen's car as we sped towards the middle of town. I was dressed in tight black jeans; a tight red shirt with slashes on the arms and chest with my black bra showing through in the slitted spots and cleavage zone and my hair was pulled up in a lose bun. Thick mascara gave my eyes a smoky, mysterious look and I had sprayed on a lot of perfume…I wanted to impress Billy lest I see him.

"So, Nervous?" Carmen asked, a cigarette dangling from her full lips. I grimaced and nodded.

"Don't worry about it, Hon. You'll get in" she assured me.

"Na, 'm not worried about that…what about Billy?" I asked.

She shook her head; a smirk on her face. "Girl you got it bad and you've only ever talked to him once…He swore at ya, and you still think he's a God." She laughed as I blushed.

"What, you think he won't like me?" I fretted.

"Look, Liah, I've known Billy Darley a long time…and He'll like you alright…But just don't expect more then a one-night stand, He'll just see you as a piece of ass he wants…No offence, but you're not really his type. See, you should go for someone like Joe; more tolerant then his brother." She shrugged.

"Wha…They're brothers?' I gaped. Carmen raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"Ya didn't know?" She sniggered as I shook my head. "Well, now you do."

We screeched to a stop in front of a dingy looking building with drunks crawling the street outside. The car jerked to a standstill so hard I got whiplash. I pulled myself out of the small seat and rubbed my neck.

"Ow, Fuck, Carm, Did ya have to fucking stop like that?" She grinned and I punched her hard in the arm. She dragged me inside.

It was Smokey and smelt like sweat, alcohol and testosterone. I gagged silently as my eyes flickered nervously around; not wanting to settle on any one thing in case I offended someone. Carmen yanked on my wrist and I let her pull me over to a room; away from the rest of the bar. There; a whole bunch of guys were seated. They were the ones from that day when I was kicked out of the court.

"Hey Babe." Joe folded himself up from within the worn seat and kissed her on the lips. The other guys stared at me questioningly and I shifted uncomfortably…unsure what to do.

"Who're you?" One guy slurred. He was slightly Hispanic looking; shaven head with leather clothing draped off his slight frame. His eyes were slightly unfocused and I guessed that he was either drunk or on something.

"I'm Liah Phoenix…I'm here with her." I muttered gesturing to Carmen. They all nodded and introduced themselves. I met Tommy who had a tattoo down the side of his face; Spink the Australian; Dog who never spoke to me just nodded; Baggy with the cute Mohawk and the waitress sister; Jamie who always wore a black headband; Bodie a Dark man with a tattoo instead of a Goatee and Heco the guy who had asked me my name. Billy was no where in sight.

Carmen and Joe had finished examining each others throats with their tongues and sat down. I followed; and perched unsurely next to Spink.

"You ain't local, eh?" Joe grunted, lighting a cigarette without looking at it.

"Nah. I just moved here from California." I stated.

"Land of Fuckin' Fruit and Nuts." Bodie sniggered.

"Why?" Tommy questioned abruptantly.

"Mom found out Dad was cheatin' on her with a Boston skank and divorced 'im. He moved here and I followed…Didn't want to put up with her shit." I shrugged.

"Right." Dog bit sarcastically and I stared at him. He stared back but said nothing. I could tell he'd have an attitude with me, and so looked away.

"Want something to drink?" Joe asked. I hesitated.

"She'll have a bottle of Budweiser…me too" Carmen winked at me and I mouthed a 'thanks'

When Joe returned with the drinks, I gulped down a Mouthful and coughed. It burned my throat and brought tears to my eyes. I noticed everyone around me was shifting restlessly and so glanced behind me.

Billy had entered the bar with a Brunette whore clasped in his arms. She was tall, with big boobs and an ass the match. The minute I saw her; my heart sank. I was the exact opposite of her and judging by the way he was kissing her; that was the type of girl that turned Billy on…Fuck Me?

"What the fuck are ya'll doing?" Billy roared as he sauntered up to our table. Everyone murmured indecipherable comments as he glared.

"I fucking told you to sell you fucking asses off and what'd I get? A bunch of fucking socialising bitches. FUCK!" He screamed, bringing his fist down on the table. I jumped and his angry gaze bore into me.

"What the Fuck are you doing here?" He accused.

"I'm, uh, I…" I stuttered, seeing him grow angrier with every letter. Carmen jumped to my rescue.

"She's here with me, Billy." She said. His eyes gleamed and I felt uncomfortable under his glare.

"Get the fuck up." He snarled. I obliged and he slid into my spot. "Now sit your fuckin' ass down." He commanded. I glanced around confused and he growled; dragging me into his lap.

I squeaked in fear and sat rigidly, feeling his solid body against mine. He wrapped an arm around my waist and continued yelling abuse at the guys around the table. I tried to catch Carmen's eye but she was too busy sticking her tongue in Joe's ear to notice…ugh, tasty…not?

"I fucking told you dickknobs to fucking come 'ere and sell your shit…Bones' already pissed as it is…especially at you, Heco, you sandbagging son of a bitch." He barked at the motley crew packed in around the table.

"Look, alright, Billy, we was just' taking a break all right? We'll go back out in a minute." Joe soothed. His brother grunted and began to nuzzle my neck. I froze and glanced at Carmen.

"Uh, Billy, What're you doing to Liah?" She asked.

"What the fuck does it fuckin' look like I'm doin?" He snarled. She blushed but continued.

"Well, why are you?" She pressed. He growled and answered.

"Because I fucking feel like it…You her mother?" He spat.

"No." Carmen muttered.

"So stay the fuck outta it." He smirked before titling my head back. He kissed me on the lips, his hand stroking my thigh. I'd never been kissed by any guy other then my Guy, and kissing Billy was a whole new ballgame. His facial hair tickled my cheek and I broke away for a second to resume normal breathing. He kissed down my neck before returning back up to my mouth; his tongue popped in between my lips. I opened my mouth more and let his tongue graze mine. I was melting in his arms and he seemed to know it…

Then; with out warning I was jerked backward and kicked hard in the stomach; knocking all the air from within me. I glanced up to see Billy's brunette girlfriend looming over me. I peeked at Billy who was smirking at her.

"What's the matter Stacey Baby?" He taunted. "You aren't fucking jealous are you?"

"No!" she huffed in a way that made it completely obvious that she was.

"Good." He laughed.

"Look, honey, I'm sorry abut what I said" She simpered. "Forgive me?" She asked; leaning over to give him complete view of her ample chest. His eyes lit up greedily and he nodded.

"If you ever fuckin' say that to me again, you whore, I'll beat your fucking ass and toss you to the street." He threatened and I saw her face pale momentarily. As Billy went to stand; his foot hit my sore stomach and I whimpered. Glancing down, He dragged me back up and threw me towards Carmen and Joe before sauntering off with Stacey nibbling his neck.

I curled myself up into a ball on the seat as tears flooded my eyes. Carmen reached out to comfort me but I batted her hand away.

"Take me home?" I whispered and she nodded silently. We made it halfway home before she exploded.

"What a motherfucking asshole." She screeched. I began to sob and she looked in my direction. "How the fuck could he do that to you?"

"Look, Carm, It was my fuckin' fault alright. I shouldn't have thought he'd like me….I can't believe I let him kiss me!" I choked; tears spilling down my cheeks. "Just…Forget it." I murmured.

"Wanna stay at my place?" She whispered, arm snaking over to squeeze my shoulder. I nodded jerkily and continued to bawl. "Nearly there." She muttered.

We pulled up at an apartment block near my dad's place…about two blocks away. She ushered me inside and I stood uncertainly in the corner as she bustled around.

"You'll stay here." She gestured and I nodded.

"Mind if I call my dad?" I asked. She waved towards the kitchen and I dialled his number; heart pounding in my chest.

"'Lo." He mumbled. I said 'hello' and his voice brightened.

"Where are you honey? It's late." He enquired.

"I'm gonna stay at Carmen's…Is that alright?" I stated. He said 'yes' and I said goodnight.

"Alright?" Carmen had her back to me but I heard the concern in her voice.

"Yeah." I sighed; "Look, I'm a little tired…Can I go to my room?"

She laughed; "You don't haveta ask." I giggled unenthusiastically.

As I walked into the room, I closed the door behind me and let the emotions I was feeling well over. I couldn't understand why He'd treated me tat way…I mean Ok, so he didn't know me but how could he kiss me like that if he was just using me to make his girlfriend jealous? I really wanted him…and I was hurting inside because he didn't want me. I wandered over to Carmen's Cd collection and pulled out Joy Drop, "Sometimes wanna die". I turned it up to a deafening volume and let my emotions whirl around me.

_My eyes are dry and, I_

_My eyes are dry and_

_I, I still don't even know you_

_I, I still wish that I could hold you_

_I, I sometimes wanna die_

I stared at the cuts and scars on my wrist; hidden carefully under a wrist cuff. Suddenly l reached into my bag and pulled out my switchblade. I cut harshly into the left wrist; leaving the right one to bask in the incensed glory of its counterpart; faded scars dull in comparison to the ruby notches appearing unhindered. Then I re angled the blade, forcing harder and deeper into the skin, wanting the release of emotions to swell and rise; giving me peace…I slashed harshly at the tender white flesh; scarlet droplets pouring from twin gashes…of immorality that flowed out. I squeezed the fresh wounds on his wrist, needed liberation from my sins.

I crumbled to my knees; sobbing as blood streamed from the lacerations, decorating my skin. Carmen wandered in and she screamed at the sight of the blood…so much blood.

"Oh, My God!" She wailed, scooping me up. I feebly tried to warn her that she was smearing blood on her shirt but she held a shaking finger to my lips; shushing me.

"Why?" She whimpered. "Because of Billy?"

"No…It's just something I do…sometimes…helps me cope." I whispered weakly.

"Fuck that shit, baby." She sighed. "I guess you don't need a lecture, just a doctor; huh?"

"No!" I screeched. "Just do it yourself…I'll tell you how. My brother Todd took a first aid course once and he grossed us girls out telling us about how they fixed up attempted suicides…."

I told her what to do and she did it…although she had to pause and vomit at least twice through the whole ordeal. I grimaced with pain but didn't cry out' knowing it was something that had to be done. After it was all over, we curled up and she listened as I poured my soul out…Then she asked me the one question I was dreading.

"Would you of?" Her usually jubilant voice was serious and her eyes worried.

"Would I have what?" I asked knowing even before she answered what she meant.

"Would you have gone further if I hadn't of come in?" she looked petrified; fearing the worst.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully; gently rocking myself back and forth. "I'm a pretty fucked up person; so maybe…It isn't just Billy, it's life in general…it's a pretty screwed up coping mechanism but it's mine" I whispered determinedly.

"Well, Liah, Billy Darley doesn't know what he's missing out on." She hugged me carefully; and my heart nearly exploded with happiness because of her compassion.

Later that night; after she got me settled in bed; she went out and rang Joe to tell him what had happened. I heard the desperation in her voice and my heart really did break; she'd known me for only a month and she already meant more to me then anyone I'd ever known.

Once she was done talking to Joe; she wandered back into the room and curled up with me. We didn't speak just laid there; arms around each other; comforting and gentle.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning with a dull ache throbbing in my tender wrists. I pulled back the covers and glanced down. Bile rose in my throat as I stared at the hacked- at flesh and clumsy stiches. I could hear Carmen banging about in the kitchen and I lurched upright towards the room. She was standing with her back to me; and I feared what I'd see when she turned around…Anger, disappointment or worse hatred.

"Hey." I mumbled; shoulders tensed with apprehension.

"Hey. How'd you sleep?" She asked; voice emotionless. I nodded an alright and sat down heavily on of the chairs.

"Listen, Liah…There's someone here to see you." She finally turned to face me; eyes burning with betrayal.

"What?" I screeched. "How the fuck could you do that to me, Carm?"

"Chill girl…Ya don't even fucking know who I called." She defended.

"Like I fuckin' give a shit." I snarled. She shook her head sadly and told me to sit back down. Then she left the room; and I sat silently fuming.

I could hear voices whispering in the hallway and I felt myself get even angrier but fear also flooded my body. Then I got up and moved to another chair; so my back was to the door.

"Hey Liah." Joe said wearily as he wandered into the room.

"What, Are you here to punish me Jo-Jo?" I snorted. He shook his head and moved to the side.

"No, I fucking am!" A deep voice rumbled and my stomach dropped. A long leg came into view followed by the rest of Billy Darley's body. I felt so childish sitting there with bandages wrapped uncomfortably around my wrists; covering the scratches I'd made there.

"Yeah? Well, I don't need your help, asshole." I growled and he chuckled; a gloriously irritating sound.

"Maybe not…" He laughed then his voice changed and he scowled menacingly. Reaching out; he clasped his iron-like grip around my sore wrist and I whimpered in pain.

"What the fuck is your damage?" He snarled. "Are you that fucking pathetic you'd kill yourself over an innocent game?"

"Game?" I screeched, vainly trying to yank my arm away. "Fuck you! How dare you use me to get yourself some fucking ass…I don't care how badass you think you are, I'm not a fucking toy."

"Oh yeah." He dared, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

"Yeah…and don't think I did it because you made a fool of me either…Or because I'm devastated you don't want me…You the only one who's gonna be missing out Darley." I snarled; anger removing all traces of fear.

He snorted and turned away, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his leather jacket.

"Look; Liah, Carmen was really worried about you." Joe sympathised. "She just wanted to sort out this shit…"

"Well, that ain't fuckin' gonna happen any time soon so get lost!" I sulked. Billy laughed and kissed me mockingly sweet on the top of my head before sauntering out of the house.

"Look; he really was concerned about you when I told him what you'd done." Joe offered.

"What, was he scared he's lost his plaything?" I grumbled. Joe shook his head disbelievingly.

"You don't get over shit easily do you?" He asked.

"Am I meant to?" I challenged.

"Whatever." Joe smirked and left to go talk to Carmen. I stalked over to the window and watched Billy leaning against his car. He looked up and saw me staring; waved arrogantly and sneered as I reddened. I stuck my rude finger up at him and he did the same. A small smile lit up my face and I giggled softly; enjoying the sound. Carmen had wandered in and stood quietly behind me.

"Are you Ok?" she whispered.

"I guess so." I shrugged. "I'm just mad that you would even think I'd want to see him." I gestured over my shoulder at the window.

"Oh, come on…I know you still like him!" she grinned suggestively. "And you know it too!" she cackled.

"Shut up!" I screamed, and tickled her mercilessly. "Take it back!"

"Ahhhh!" she shrieked trying to run away. The shrill phone ringing startled us both and we stopped.

"Hello?" Carmen laughed into the receiver. "Oh, Right. I'll get her for you."

"Hello?" I giggled.

"Honey?" Dad asked. "Are you Ok?" I gulped and fingered the bandages on my arm.

"Yeah, Dad, sure. Why wouldn't I be?" I enquired brightly.

"Well, Kate just thought…" He started.

"Kate thought what?" I demanded harshly.

"Uhhh, Nothing Hon'" he finished lamely. Clearing his throat, Dad continued. "So, are you having fun with Carmen?"

"Yeah…look Dad I gotta go." I fumed before hanging up.

"Shit!" I spat. Carmen gazed at me questionly.

"What?" she asked.

"Kate probably told my dad about my cutting…" I explained. "So, when I go home I'm gonna have to explain about these." I held out my wrists swathed in bandages for emphasis.

"What are you gonna do?" Carmen eyes were filled with concern and dread since she almost certainly knew what I was going to say.

"There's only one thing for it." I whispered determinedly. I crossed into the bathroom and pulled out a razor since Carmen had taken my switchblade away. Quickly; I made a serious of nippy slices on my palms; as though I had fallen on something sharp. The blood mixed in with sweat and stung like hell…I screamed in pain and Carmen raced in.

"What?" she hollered. "Did you really hurt yourself fucking badly?"

I shook my head 'no' and held out my bloodied palms. Tilting her head to the side; Carmen looked at them perplexed. "Huh?" she grunted.

"It'll look like I tripped over on glass or some shit…He won't know the fucking difference." I explained. She nodded slowly and I laughed.

"One of my friends used to do it all the time and it always worked for her." I said.

"If you say so." She agreed reluctantly. "Just promise me you won't do it again."

"OK, I promise." I assured crossing my fingers behind my back. Instantly her face broke into a captivating smile and I felt better….I just hoped my dad _would_ believe I'd fallen…who knows what kind of Spell Kate had put on him.

"Wanna go to court?" I asked; meaning that we could go and see Joe at the B-ball court.

"Duh?" Carmen giggled. We covered the nicks on my palms with finger-less black gloves and off we went.

Joe and the rest of the gang were all there playing Ball. I laughed as I saw them because for guys so tough; they sure looked cute when playing games…nice ones that is, that doesn't involve me getting hurt too badly! Billy towered over the rest of the guys; his shaven head gleaming in the sun. He'd taken his shirt off and I was able to see that his tattoos spiralled and curled their way across his torso, down his back and into his baggy jeans…despite my current feelings towards him; I nearly started drooling at the sight of his well muscled body. Carmen noticed my intense gaze and mimed wiping her chin, dabbing away any imaginary dribble. I crossed my eyes and she screeched with laughter.

"Hey Carm." Joe hollered as he raced past her and scooped her into his arms.

"JOE MATTHEW DARLEY!" she shrieked, "Put me down!" and I nearly wet myself with laughter. Billy peek over and I saw him snigger before I glanced away.

"Carm…I'm gonna go sit over there." I pointed. She didn't pay any attention to me; she was so busy kissing Joe. I snorted and wandered over to the shade.

I sat there for a while until my legs went numb from being crossed and I had to stand up and shake them. A strong arm curved its way around my waist and another placed a large hand across my eyes.

"Hey, Hellcat" Billy's deep voice cooed in my ear, causing Goosebumps to ripple across my skin.

"Hey, Demon" I said back. He grunted and licked my neck, before biting down softly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelped yanking away from his charismatic grip.

"What? Isn't that what you wanted?" He inquired. Shame burned my face as I struggled to hold his gaze.

"No…"I muttered; obviously in doubt.

"Then what the fuck's your problem?" He whispered seductively pulling my face back towards his.

"I'm not a fucking whore…You fucking hurt me Darley and I rarely make the same mistake twice." I threatened.

"Like your fucking wrists?" He taunted, hand sliding down my arm to caress the material that hid my release.

"Fuck you Dick." I sobbed; tears flowing suddenly down my cheeks.

"Oh, Shit…I'm fucking sorry." He whispered sincerely. I peeked up at him from against his chest.

"Sorry? Did the big bad Billy just apologise to little ol' me?" I teased.

"I'm not all bad…especially in bed." He grinned. I cried even harder and he looked confused. "What is it?"

"You don't want me like I want you." I whimpered and his face tightened with annoyance.

"What the fuck are you talking about Hellcat?" He demanded.

"I want to date you…You know be your fucking girlfriend not just your fucking bitch or even just a booty Call." I muttered. "And beside you already have a girlfriend…Little Miss Easy."

"Ya mean Stacey?"

I nodded; arms crossed angrily.

"I fuckin' dumped her ass…somethin' I was meaning to do for a long time so don't go getting a fucking big head." He smirked.

"Exactly." I said triumphantly. "you'll dump me the exact same fuckin' way…Once you get bored, it'll be bye-bye bitch…no matter how I fuckin' feel."

"How can you be so fuckin' sure?" He spat. "I can change…"

"People can't change if they've been doing it all their lives Billy, no matter how hard they try." I sniffed.

"I can make you eat those words Liah." He smirked. Kissing my neck, he rubbed his hand across my skin and I moaned.

"God, I hope so Billy…I hope you can." I bit my lip and he drew my face upward to gaze into my eyes.

"I will." He vowed.


End file.
